NEW ORLEANS — How hilarious was the New Orleans Saints' 34-0 win against the New England Patriots on Sunday?
The last time New England lost that bad at home Charlton Heston was quarterbacking the Saints in the horrible movie ‘Number 1’ in 1969.
I can’t remember a game where the Saints entered an early season game with so many questions about so many things, won 34-0, and when it was over, I had all the same questions as when the game began.
Let’s put all those questions aside and take a moment to really enjoy the fact the tag team of Dennis Allen and Pete Carmichael Jr. went to Foxborough and ripped up and destroyed whatever veneer was remaining around Bill Belichick being an elite head coach.
The Patriots had 156 yards of total offense, 3 turnovers, 8 first downs, and averaged 3.4 yards a pass and 2.5 yards a rush. I spent the second half checking in on the Atlanta Falcons and Houston Texans because the Patriots could have played offense until next Sunday and not scored. Dennis Allen had Mac Jones in absolute hell.
The Saints offense might be bad, but the Patriots have been outscored 72-3 the last 2 weeks. The best part of Sunday was Dennis Allen took absolutely no pity and had no chill for the Patriots, Allen didn't even let New England have one of those sad scoring drives where the Saints go to prevent defense and show a little mercy. Mac Jones and then Patriots backup QB Bailey Zappe were made to suffer on Dennis Allen’s torture rack for the entire 60 minutes.
The Saints scoring first off a Tyrann Mathieu pick 6 was the absolute best way to start the scoring because the Saints offense to start the game couldn’t, even though the defense gifted them incredible field position, but also because the Patriots' offensive incompetence helping the Saints get on the scoreboard sucked all the life out of the stadium and turned the fans against the Patriots.
Poverty football has arrived in New England, I won’t say they deserve it, because that’d be mean, but I at least understand their pain and anger. I too have paid GOOD money to go and watch some very bad Saints football at times in my life. New England’s problems are not our problems though.
There might be a lot of uncertainty about the 2023 Saints but one thing to me is crystal clear after 5 weeks, if you play offense against the Saints defense, you better either have DUDES at receiver or plan on running the all pass interference offense, because Dennis Allen’s defense has a bunch of elite cornerbacks that erase mediocre and bad receivers.
Mac Jones is terrible, and the Patriots offensive line might be worse, but New England receivers were rarely open. The Patriots had 3 passing plays over 10 yards.
Mathieu was very low-key afterwards about a complete Saints defensive performance.
“I thought we did what we were supposed to do as far as starting fast and finishing strong today.”
While the Saints defense was back to its elite quarterback soul-crushing self, the Saints offense was better? Maybe? They did some stuff and scored some points!
The Saints had the ball for almost 40 minutes but only had 304 yards of offense. They ran the ball an incredible 42 times for a lively 136 yards. Offensive coordinator Pete Carmichael Jr. was living that “Run the damn ball!” life to the max.
We should all thank NewOrleans.football’s Nick Underhill for asking Pete Carmichael why he wasn’t running any plays with motion and basically shaming the Saints into doing it like a proper 2023 NFL offense. Thanks Nick.
This week motion, next week play action, then THE WORLD!
The Saints did protect Derek Carr better and Carr was a couple of Chris Olave drops away from his 18-26, 183-yard, 2-touchdown day looking really good.
Michael Thomas every week just inches closer to 2019 unstoppable Michael Thomas. Thomas had 4 catches for 65 yards and that man just looked radiant and joyful after the game. He doesn’t need to be 2019 Michael Thomas for the Saints to win, they just need him always to be heading in that direction.
If the Saints offense could just stop having holding penalties, they could be bang average! Aspirational goals are important to have in life.
The 2023 Saints are going to be in almost every game, their defense gives them that floor, the question is where is their ceiling?
After 5 weeks it’s more fun to ask questions about what the Saints could be, instead of lamenting what we thought they should be.
Ralph Malbrough is a contributing writer and Saints fan living in Houston. Email him at saintshappyhour@gmail.com, find him on Facebook, or follow him on Twitter at @SaintsForecast or download the Saints Happy Hour Podcast.